• Episode Followup: The Answer

    The hiatus is over! I mean, let's be honest, they could've served us up any ol' episode and we'd've been happy, but they hit us over the head with a big bucket of backstory! Mmm, this episode was like a fine wine, and I don't even like alcohol! What's to love about this episode? What's not to love about this episode? I'll give you the answer after the break.

    Yes! Connie is The Answer! Finally, another great Connie episo-ooohh wait it's the intro again. False alarm, sorry.

    The backgrounds in Steven Universe are usually fantastic, but I felt like they were especially great in this episode. Bob Ross would be proud of this one.

    And here we are inside the barn. Dang, this place is spotless! I guess that's what happens when Pearl stays over. We never did find out who owns that pickup that Steven is sleeping in the back of. You'd think they'd have gotten him a proper sleeping spot. Oh well, I guess the back of a pickup truck is called a bed...

    Hey Steven, do you think you could wake up less.. creepily? Man I dunno, I hope this episode doesn't turn into a creepy face competition.

    GAAH! Oh, hi Garnet. Where's your visor? I mean, she's the adorable square mom and all, but can you imagine waking up to that face? It's all good though, 'cause she's gonna tell us her origin story!

    ...was our collective reaction! Ok, I'm on board! Let's destroy some headcanons!

    "The Earth, 5,750 years ago..."
    Holy Moley, this is what the Cloud Arena used to look like? Gem architecture is so beautiful! We'd better get to see Homeworld sometime. I'll bet the whole place looks like this. Also the timeline keeps getting more and more specific, yay!

    "Among those gems was Sapphire, a rare aristocratic Homeworld gem with the power to see into the future."
    And there's our Sappho! A rare aristocrat that serves Blue Diamond, eh? That's 3 headcanons confirmed, and about 8 destroyed.

    "Assigned to her were three Rubies, common soldiers, with a mission to protect her."
    Whoa whoa whoa, Hold the phone! WE HAVE MULTIPLE GEMS OF THE SAME TYPE ONSCREEN, PEOPLE! Gem locations are specific to the individual, not the type CONFIRMED (but I can't remember encountering that as a headcanon)! Rubies as soldiers CONFIRMED! Gems of the same type using the same name CONFIRMED!
    Actually that last one is a little weird. How do they tell which Ruby is being spoken to? Seems like they don't use nicknames at all. I'll fix that. From left to right: Lefty, Bicep, and Righty.
    I think we can all tell which one went on to make Garnet, right? And good thing too. Here, let me illustrate:
    Besides, do you think Pearl would've put up with an asymmetrically-begemmed Garnet? The fusion would've gone the way of M.C. Bear-Bear long ago. The future of the Crystal Gems depends on you, Lefty!

    Lefty is clearly the smartest of the trio, demonstrating her ability to count.

    Righty does get points in her favor for this fantastic "thank you so much for fixing my van" face.

    "Sapphire had been called to Earth by Blue Diamond specifically to share her vision of the future."
    Blue Diamond CONFIRMED! I mean yeah ok we had seen her in murals and we knew there was a blue in the Diamond Authority,  but now we know for sure she's Blue Diamond! I think we're up to about 12 headcanons confirmed, 18 destroyed. Also, that portable throne Blue Diamond has is pretty sweet. I wonder if that's still on Earth someplace.

    Also, Blue Diamond has quite the court. Let's name them all:
    Big SapphoComma GarnetVictorian PeridotPearl
    Lapis LazuliLapis in a tunicLapis in a
    Cat Ear Hood
    Dr. Maheswaran
    Baldy BulkyCollaretteNogem
    Spoops The Quartizine DuoEmperor PalpatineCandleja-

    So there they all are, hanging out and having a good time staring wordlessly when suddenly...

    "We are the Crystal Gems!"
    Oooooh 7 gems gon' die tonight! Seriously though, it's only the two of them? Rose and Pearl against the entirety of Gemkind? And they're winning!?


    My stars, Pearl is a freakin' lawnmower! That's 2 down!

    Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum didn't stand a chance either. 4 on the floor.

    Then the Rubies form up and fuse into...

    Wreck-It Ruby!

    ...who instantly gets one-punched into oblivion. 6 gems poofed, and I'm beginning to see why Rose and Pearl are winning now. It's been nothing but big trouble for the Blue cornerPRChase

    Hey! I was promised 7! You two get back here!

    It's baby Square Mom! And she's adorable! Look at her cotton candy hair! Her wacky dress...thing! And she's already got the pants right! ... mostly!

    Aww lookit that face! She has Sapphire's eye... type! And Sapphire's mouth! And Ruby's nose! And Ruby's hair... mostly! And... wait we already know what Garnet looks like. Still, sooooo precious!

    It doesn't take Future Vision for Rose to know what's about to happen. And it's a great distraction for a clean getaway! HeyGuys

    "This is... not what I saw! I don't know what happened, I..."
    Interesting... could it be that while Garnet's Future Vision operates in probabilities, Sapphire's only works in absolutes? But that can't be, only a Sith deals in absolutes!

    Oh, right.

    Sappho.exe has stopped responding
    You ever accidentally close a browser with like 50 tabs open and lose them all? That's probably close to what Sapphire's feeling here. Her world wiped clean. Forced to start all over again. And the only tab left in her history is Ruby.

    These two are just perfect for each other.

    Oh hey, now that they're out of the harsh light of the Cloud Arena and the dark of the rain, we can see their Homeworld outfits! They're mostly the same to the ones we know now, but Both of them have changed their tops, probably to remove their affiliation to other gems, at least in Sapphire's case. Homeworld Ruby didn't have a headband, and Homeworld Sapphire didn't have her pinafore.

    Remember what I said about the backgrounds? I'm no astronomer, otherwise this'd be easy, but I wonder if the stars are random, or accurate to the night sky 5,750 years ago? Let me know in the comments if you can pick out any constellations!

    Also this song! This song! It's so simple, yet so beautiful! And this may be one of the most important songs yet. Make sure you check the lyrics, because they're filled with glorious information about the nature of fusion, how fusion feels, how heterogeonus fusion is different from homogeonus fusion...

    She's singing it! She's singing the song! From when she was trapped in the cell in Jail Break! This one! I love that song! I've been wanting to hear more of it since - ok ok yeah it's Stronger Than You but STILL...

    Y'know, the two of them really do look imposing like that. Maybe it's because we just saw them take out 7 6 gems like they were nothing, but I dunno... I think Garnet has a right to be a little scared here.

    "Welcome to Earth."
    Where have we heard that before? The two of them are smiling like they know they've won Garnet over. Maybe our planet has some unique properties that run counter to everything the Gems know... and just by being here, the best laid Gem plans just sometimes... fail to work out? I dunno, I'm rambling. Maybe the Crystal Gems just realized what a great place this is.

    "C-can you tell me... How was Ruby able to alter fate? W-why was Sapphire willing to give up everything? What am I?"
    And there you have it folks. Just like she told you in Stronger Than You, Garnet is even more than just Ruby and Sapphire working together. She's a brand new being, and Ruby and Sapphire don't really seem to exist while Garnet's around. They're still in there, but Garnet doesn't seem to have instant access to their thoughts and memories. She has no clue why the gems that created her did what they did.
    Hmm, shoot, these questions are similar to the ones Steven's been asking about himself. I guess Greg and Rose did fuse after all.

    And the final tally? Headcanons confirmed: 22. Headcanons destroyed: 548. Revise those fanfics, people! Sooner or later we'll have to stop accepting the ones that are WRONG (nah you're fine)

    And the Answer?

    The Answer was Garnet, all along.

    No, I'm just kidding. The REAL answer is what Garnet is made of.
    Ruby and Sapphire's love.

    And you wouldn't have it any other way.