• Episode Followup: Dewey Wins

    Welcome back! We finally get our first episode since June 1st. Is that the longest hiatus we've ever had? It sure felt like it. Now you might be hoping for an epic episode to kick off this new batch, but c'mon, man. Steven just got back from Homeworld. Let's kick back, relax, and check in on the townies. We haven't seen some of them for a while, especially Mayor Dewey. Time for him to win!

    The protective parents. Garnet's her normal stoic self, Greg is stressed but supportive, and Amethyst... uh if she's doing that, where's Pearl?

    Oh, staring out the door like she may never see him again. Yeah I guess that's about right.

    Connie is sad and Steven is oblivious. This won't go well.

    "And Lars was there, we got chased by killer robots... What a wild ride that was!"
    "And we found out they were killer robots when they killed Lars. B-but don't worry, he got better! What a wild ride that was!"

    Now Connie's sad and Lion's mad. Take the hint, Steven.

    "But what about our training? Stevonnie? Jam Buds? I believed in us! We could've done it together!"
    Yeah, and that would've been the best scene in the history of this show. Y'know what Steven? You don't just owe Connie an apology. You owe us an apology for making us miss out on Stevonnie kicking Aquamarine's butt. You owe us big time.

    "But... I'm hurt."
    C'mon Steven. Turn on that empathy. Give us another famous Steven moment where you open your mouth and make everything okay again.

    "No you're not!"
    STEVEN! Like Rule-freaking-ONE of being friends states that if your friend says you hurt them, you apologize. You don't just decide that you didn't hurt them. You should know this!

    Ugh that look of dejection. You fix this now, Steven! If Connie leaves the show, so do I!

    "It was at this moment Steven knew..."

    "Wow, Steven, that was so brave of you! I'm so glad you're back!"
    ... Nothing? He learned nothing. Craaaaaaap how many episodes is this going to take to fix?

    "WHAT!? And Lars is still in space!?"
    Y'know Steven maybe "Hey Sadie, you know how you like zombie movies? Well now Lars is a zombie!" might not have been the best way to tell her.

    "You... told his parents, riiiiiiiiiiight?"
    "Hey Mr and Mrs. Barriga... you know how Sadie likes zombie movies?"

    Nana Phone is the best part of this episode.

    Ian Jones-Quartey doesn't know what the mayor did to stop the abductions either.

    Wait, is Steven just leaving it up to Sadie to tell Lars's parents that he's lost in space? I'm not sure I believe in Steven anymore.

    "When I say, 'Do we want Dewey?' You say, 'No!' Do we want Dewey?" "NO!"
    I love clever chants. Nanefua is going to be a contender for sure.

    "'Kay, good job. When I say, 'Nanefua does,' you say, 'What Dewey don't!'"
    Dang. Mayor Dewey's going to have to work pretty hard to top that one.

    Oh no. Maybe he can bribe Nanefua to drop out of the race?

    "You're right, Universe! This is all your fault!"
    No no no, we've seen how Steven tries to make up for things that are his fault. He'll turn himself in again. Does Beach City even have a courthouse?

    "He basically just keeps a low profile and doesn't get involved in much of anything."
    These townies have short memories. Don't they remember that time Lapis stole the ocean and Mayor Dewey was out on the beach by himself trying to refill the entire ocean with nothing but a garden hose and his own tears? What did they expect him to do about Aquamarine and Topaz anyway? I don't really blame him for not being able to help with gem stuff.

    "What about my friend Lars?" "Who?"

    Ok but I do blame him for not knowing who Lars is. C'mon Mayor, it's not like Beach City has that many people to keep track of.

    "Wh-..? Lars? Lars Barriga? Mr. and Mrs. Barriga's son!?"
    Hey I think that's the first time Lars' last name was mentioned on the show! It's good to have confirmation for that.
    "The Donut Boy? Is that why the donut shop was closed this morning?"
    Aww, see? Mayor Dewey does care. He just didn't know Lars by name. He'll make this right, Sadie!

    "Do not worry! I will do everything in my power to hire a new Donut Boy!"
    Oh no. Maybe Steven can get Lars back before the election so people aren't so upset about it anymore?

    Beach City angry mobs have the best rallying cry.

    "How did this get on the internet so fast? I didn't invite any press to this event!" "Someone posted it on TubeTube."
    But who could that someone be? Judging by the angle...

    Ronaldo did it! I knew it! Curse you, Ronaldo! Curse you and your journalistic instincts!

    "But Steven, some of the things people have been saying about me are really painful and mean!"
    Aw. I feel a little bad for Mayor Dewey here. I've been there too, buddy. Heck, spend a few minutes on the internet and you'll feel the same way. People are jerks.

    "Aw shucks, Universe! You're like the son I never had." "You have a son." "I know that! You're... just very different from him is all."
    Hey, come to think of it, where is Buck? His old man could really use a dose of the calm and collected attitude right now!

    D'aww. Good luck Mayor Dewey. With Nanefua as your opponent, you're going to need it.

    Yikes, she came packed full of ammunition this time. Where's the mayor's bodyguards?

    "When the Mayor crashes the Mayormobile into the only cell tower in town... it's the Mayor's fault!"
    I love that the van is called the Mayormobile. Does that mean it'll transfer to Nanefua if she wins?

    "Just enjoy our wonderful ocean breeze, and don't worry about a thing! Just let Dewey 'Do it' for you!"
    Yeah it's an alright slogan. Maybe Dewey can win this one yet.
    "So, no longer will I point my fingers at you. I will extend all my fingers on both my hands to everyone here today, and ask that we share responsibility for the welfare and safety of Beach City together! Thank you."
    Wow, that was amazing and inspiring! It'll be a tough speech to follow, but if anyone can do it, Dewey can!

    No he can't.

    "Beach City deserves a real mayor. Someone wise and collected like Ms. Nanefua. I withdraw from the race. You can find the key to the city under the city welcome mat."
    See this is what's good about Mayor Dewey. He comes off seeming like your normal politician, but he's not. He actually does care about the city. He's just not necessarily great at his job. But a normal politician here would've spent all his cash and resources trying to undermine Nanefua and keep his job. Bill Dewey instead realized that Nanefua would do a better job and resigned so she can do it. I wish we had more politicians like Bill Dewey. Um, even though they'd quickly quit their jobs and we'd end up with fewer politicians like Bill Dewey... well, you get my point.

    "Well, you were wrong. What do you want me to say?" "How about, 'I'm sorry. We were in this together and I let you down.'"
    It took managing a failed mayoral campaign for you to figure out what you should've said to Connie? Geez Steven. Get it together.

    "Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, but I've gotta find a new job..."
    With that anti-climactic statement, Former Mayor Dewey walks off into the sunset.

    And probably into a new job as Donut Boy. He'll keep his promise, I just know it!

    Now all Steven has to do is get in touch with Connie and apologize. It'll all be okay. We'll see Stevonnie in battle again soon. Everything is going to be just fine.

    Except she doesn't pick up? What!? You can't leave it hanging like this! Crewniverse, what are you doing to me? Bring Connie back! Bring her back right now! YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING MEEEEE!