• Episode Followup - Legs From Here to Homeworld

     Steven Universe is back on our televisions, everybody! This episode features legs almost as long as the hiatus we just got through! And to start it off, we have another fantastic title card, showing us the absolute mess we last saw the beach in! How are our two shocked Diamonds gonna handle this? Let's jump in and find out.

     And what a mess indeed! The two wedding crashers' ships lay broken where the Cluster left them. Wow, wasn't it crazy that happened? Every single thing the Diamonds were trying to do here went wrong. I'll bet they're furious!

    "Oh, Pink! I can't believe it! You've been here all along!"
    No, this makes sense. Blue Diamond has spend the last 6000 years mourning over the loss of Pink Diamond, only to discover she hadn't been lost after all! Well... until they can fully convey what happened to make Steven. Still, that's Blue Diamond. What about Yellow Diamond, who wanted nothing but the destruction of the failed colony on which she is now stranded?

    "Why the strange disguise? Why are you doing a voice? Why didn't you say something at the trial?"
    I guess even with Yellow, all is forgiven. She's not mad, she just wants to understand. Ok Steven, hit 'em with the truth. Pink Diamond was alive long after they thought she was dead, but now she is dead because she gave birth to you. Just y'know... brace yourself.

    "Rose passed her gemstone and some of her powers onto me, but... that's all. I... I don't have any of Pink or Rose's memories. Sorry." "Hmm. I'm sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink."
    This worries me a bit. The Diamonds seem convinced that Pink Diamond is just taking the form of Steven and doesn't remember that she's doing it. But how can they be so sure? What Rose did seems to be entirely unprecedented. How are they taking this so well? And will they start having a much more angry and upset reaction if they finally realize what happened to Pink to create Steven?

    Or are they right, and Steven is just another form for Pink?
    Is Steven's life his own, or is he just one of Pink Diamond's temporary adventures?

    Also, did the Diamonds just wait patiently while everyone changed out of their wedding attire? It really seems like this scene follows seconds after the end of the last episode, but...

    "What... am I looking at?"
    This episode has a bit of a strange feel to it. It spends a lot of time bringing the Diamonds down to Earth. Up until now, we thought of them as all-powerful, all-wise beings with awful tempers and no patience. But now we're learning that none of that may be true. They instantly forgave Pink, it seems, and are being very patient while trying to learn what she has gone through. And now we learn that they had absolutely no idea what the aftermath of their corruption weapon would be when they fired it. They thought it'd wipe out all gem life on Earth. Is there any hope of them being able to reverse the damage they've done when even they don't know how it happened?

    Also, poor Centipeedle. Steven had gotten her to an almost humanoid, almost sentient form, and it looks like she's almost completely reverted. She seems to recognize Steven, still. Does she recognize the Diamonds?

     Yes she does!

    "Well, that's not something we normally do..." "This is completely unprecedented!"
    This is wild. They're completely willing to help, but they just don't know how. This is not how I pictured the Diamonds. They've been known to shatter underlings without a thought, but they're actually humoring Pink and taking pity on these poor gems that they've wronged.

    "But you did this to her! You have to help her. All of them!" "Hmm, very well. I can try, but I make no promises."
    Pink demands, and Yellow acquiesces. Weren't you two about to destroy this planet? I guess now that Pink's still here, that plan's been abandoned. "You trashed my colony and corrupted my gems," Pink says. "You gotta fix it!"

    Is that what the Diamonds are hearing?

     The face of concentration.

    This sequence is pretty interesting. Not only do we get a neat sounding music sting that sounds like the corruption is being reversed, but we get to see each of the Diamonds' strengths. Yellow, who is very physical and quick to act, is able to restore Centi's body, but not her mind.

    "No, please no! No, no, we're all gonna be...!" 
    And the more emotional and reserved Blue Diamond can restore her mind, but only to the last moments of her non-corrupted life.

    But once Steven lays his hand on her back, Pink Diamond is able to snap her out of the past and let her move into the present. She's finally free to change and adapt to her surroundings. She comes to and is able to identify herself as...

    "Nephrite. Facet 413 Cabochon 12."
    So no, Centi wasn't that Nephrite. Still, this is fantastic! Now that Centi is restored, she can be brought up to speed on what happened! We finally get to see a Homeworld-side rank-and-file gem react to the news that the entire war on Earth was started over a false premise!

    Or we would, but as soon as the Diamonds release her, she reverts to her old corrupted self. Darn.

    "Oh, Pink. How many perfectly adequate gems did you have us ruin?"
    Um excuse me? You were trying to destroy them! And it was your decision! You could've just left Earth alone like she wanted!

    Also, Yellow's gripe seems to be about the resources lost, not the suffering inflicted. That's Yellow Diamond for ya.

    "We can only do so much. If it was the four of us..." "Oh no. We can't let her see this."
    And now our new friends, the old Big Bads, inform us that they were just the mini-bosses, and even they live in fear of the terrible White Diamond. But Yellow had to dangle that carrot... the thought that all four diamonds may be able to cure corruption for good. That's too good for Steven to pass up. So naturally, he says...

    "Steven, White Diamond isn't like us. She isn't even like them. You have no idea what she's capable of."
    Hmm, so she has even more power than the rest of the Diamonds, and also may be incapable of feeling even the low amount of compassion and empathy that Yellow Diamond possesses.

    Steven, you may be walking into the lair of a psychopath.

    "It's just past these pink pyramids!"
    Alright, I know it's done for comedy, but c'mon Steven. You know you're looking for a pastel-colored shiny tube. After all, that's what Yellow and Blue's ships were. Don't the "pink pyramids" stick out to you in the least?

     The boardies gasp in awe as they behold the sight of...

     Those heels!


    WE CALLED IT! January 8, 2016! Almost 3 years, or 153 weeks ago, we called it! Pink Diamond has a BUTT SHIP!

    This was before we had even seen Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond's hand ships! The only ship we had to go off of was Peridot's! We always knew she had a Butt Ship! It was obvious from the get-go! This is the quality coverage you get from Beach City Bugle, folks! We are this fandom's Ronaldo!

    "Alright. Be careful. Just... come home safe!"
    This is a big moment for the Maheswarans. I'm sure every fiber of their beings is telling them to not let Connie go... but they know she has to.
    And they trust Pearl enough to keep her safe.

    Boy oh boy, Sugar, please do not let their daughter come home pink.

    "Can't believe I'm finally going to Homeworld! There might be more Famethysts!"
    Oh yeah, huh, I guess that is an official term.

    "Garnet, should I be worried?" "Steven will be fine... If you could water this for me while I'm gone it'd be a big help."
    The delivery of "Steven will be fine" worries me. What do you see, Garnet? Is there a lot of heartbreak ahead?
    Are you dodging the question entirely and referring to Cat Steven?

    "Besides, you're gonna need me at the home base. Someone's gotta keep an eye on these two while you're gone!"
    Confession time... I was so engrossed in this episode, I had completely forgotten that Peridot and Lapis were still in their gems. Huh. They'll be disappointed if they re-emerge, stars and all, and Steven isn't there to see it! But yeah, it makes sense that Bismuth is the one to stay. After all, she's gonna need a bit more screen-time to grow into her character before we really get to know her, and there's no way they're gonna have time for that during all the incoming plot development.
    Besides, Uzo Aduba probably doesn't come cheap!

    If Yellow Diamond wants to be Snarky Aunt for the rest of the series, I'm down.

     Huh, the interior is quite roomy. I wonder how this contrasts with the much smaller hand ships. I do love how there's seats for Yellow and Blue alongside Pink... like she had always intended to be able to fly them around.
    It's not just plot convenience!

    What a graceful takeoff.

    Greg: Woo!
    Maheswarans: [Concern]
    Bismuth: [Dumbfounded]
    Lion: [Nope]

     Inside, the expressions aren't faring much better.

    "I bet when Mom took off, it was pretty graceful, huh?" "Heh... no. Not really."
    The line itself evokes images of a clumsy Pink Diamond always having her rough take-offs, but the look on Pearl's face...

    Yeah, I'm thinkin' Pink was doing it on purpose.

    Ah, it flies umm... "face" first! You think when the whole Diamond Voltron is assembled, it flies in a Superman pose?

    "When we show up in this ship, it will be irrefutable that the last 6000 years are now the biggest galactic embarrassment that's ever happened. And we're the ones to blame."
     Is that what White Diamond cares about? Making mistakes? Sheesh, no wonder Blue and Yellow are so on edge. To hear it, White Diamond must consider herself perfect and hold everyone else to that standard.

    Huh, so uh... that's Homeworld, eh? It's cracked in half! Man, you'd think the gems with their ability to harvest and rebuild entire planets would keep their own looking nice.

    You know what they say. We should figure out how to stop polluting Earth before we start polluting Mars. Guess the Diamonds don't have the same philosophy.

     Boom. Nice landing.

    "Everyone, wait here. Blue and I will return for you once White's temper has cooled."
    I think Yellow and Blue have snapped right back into their roles as Pink's protector. They know this is a rough situation that they're not necessarily prepared for, but Steven and his entourage are far less prepared. They're gonna take charge and try to make things go smoothly.

    It's nice that they want to see this through. To hopefully convince White to fly out to Earth and fix the damage they caused.

    I hope it works.

    Oh hey, they rolled out the welcome mat! I guess White Diamond may be a little omniscient after all...

    Or the gems have just been drilled to make this formation at the drop of a ship. It does look like this landing platform was designed for the purpose. There's even spaces for Blue and Yellow's hand ships... if they had them.

    And what gems do we have here? Looks like Peridots on the left, and um.... I don't... think we know those other two. That pink one kind of um... reminds me of um...

    Oh heck and there's an entire flock of Aquamarines. BACK IN THE SHIP KIDS LET'S GO

    And here we have White Pearl, the show's most unsettling character to date. I think the onscreen reactions mirror most of the fandom's.
    Pearl seems to be especially unsettled. She looks like she may know a bit about why White Pearl is how she is. And why the left side of her face is cracked like a mishandled porcelain doll.

    "Pink Diamond, your presence is required."
    That... doesn't sound like Deedee Magno-Hall. Y'know, the voice of every other Pearl we've seen. In fact it seems like the show's tradition to have same-type gems voiced by the same voice actress. So why is White Pearl an exception?

    Well I'm thinking it may end up explaining why she looks and acts so oddly.
     And the bubble flies straight into White's mouth! Oh no, Steven got eaten!

    "Pink! There you are~~"
    She's so radiant! She's so terrifying! She's so... white!

    "Hello Starlight. You certainly gave everyone a scare."
    She's immense! We know Steven is about ankle-high to Blue and Yellow, but, and maybe this is just the perspective, it looks like he's barely the size of one of White Diamond's perfectly pedicured toes!

    "They're all just thrilled to see you safe and sound."
    She's so luminous!
    It's been pointed out that she is sitting at the helm of her ship. And that since her ship is a torso and head, and we did just see how Steven's pants lit up pink while he piloted his pants ship, that's probably the white glow from the ship's control systems...

    But boy does it look imposing!

    "As for this latest little game of yours, thank the stars it's over."
    Just look at her. She's perfect. From her amazing heels to her immaculate smile. Her words sound so caring and comforting.

    But clearly they're not.

    "Did you have fun?"
    She belittles Pink Diamond's attempt to save Earth and its humans. To provide a free society for organics and gems alike.

    "Did you get everything out of your system?"
    Her eyes narrow and become somewhat angry. This is our first slight glimpse into the temper that Blue and Yellow are afraid of.

    "Good, good. Everyone is so relieved."
    Steven can't get a word in. White Diamond has no interest in his answers. She speaks for everyone, after all. She decides what everyone is thinking. What they're feeling. Steven's actual words are irrelevant.

    "Welcome home, Pink."
    So many things unspoken. "Welcome back to my domain. You thought you could escape? You can't. You're under my control again, Pink. And we will address the problems you caused. "

    "But first, go to your room."
    Do you think the bubbles here were left over from Pink Diamond experimenting with her powers?

    And we end here, with Steven a political prisoner of a tyrannical dictator that he hoped would consider him worthy of listening to, being a Diamond and all.

    He didn't heed the warnings. Everything went worse than expected. White Diamond has no time for your small concerns about the corrupted gems on Earth, Steven. There's bigger plans to execute.

    Well, that was fun. See you whenever they decide to air another episode!

    Which, thank the stars, is next week! See you then!